INVISIBLE GRANDPARENTING explores the many steps, both healthy and ungracious, that people have taken to cope with circumstances that have placed them where they can only imagine the growth of their grandchildren. The tools in Invisible Grandparenting give us a safe way to revisit situations we may have kept shrouded in mystery.
In My Back-Story, the author tells her version of the circumstances that led to her status as an invisible grandparent. In Handling Invisibility, the stories of six other estranged, alienated invisible grandparents and how they handled their situation are told. Invisible Not Silent shows how letter writing can be a healing tool, as well as a means to communicate the gifts, tangible and intangible, that grandparents might like to pass on, if they could. Writing can help us clarify our feelings and can be a healing vehicle for those not able to pass on firsthand the love they might care to. Also, by writing inevitable feelings of frustration, anger and even outrage out in letters never intended for sharing, and specifically designed for release, one can begin to transform negative energy to forgiveness. Some things can be changed from obstacles to opportunities, and perhaps even be seen as cosmic destiny for you to learn from in this lifetime.
My Legacy in Letters is a sample of the many kinds of letters written to the grandchildren the author has not seen since 2008. Many contain "Life Lessons" that she would like to pass on. A legacy is something from the past bequeathed to younger generations. It is something left behind to immortalize us; something that keeps the past alive for many future "presents." For the author it was the letters she wrote in order to keep grandparenting alive for herself.
Healing is about recovering emotionally or spiritually from separation of all kinds. It details what Dr. Hanson did to feel her feelings, and not spiral down to the helplessness of depression. It reminds us to rise above the drama of our own personal predicament. By finding something to be grateful for every day, and forgiving ourselves we can get through the most trying situations. This chapter helps us envision, hold high aspirations for our young ones, and believe them, so that a positive vibration is transmitted to the universe. Not an easy task under difficult circumstances, but it will start readers on that path.
The Appendix contains a list of resources to turn to for help for grandparents in need
of personal support and legal advice. There are also many ways we can, if we choose, give service to young children other than our own grandkids needing positive role models. It is a mere sampling of the many support groups and services available to estranged families.
And finally, Grandmother Yourself reminds us to take care of ourselves. Who among us
has not wished for a soothing voice, or a warm lap to drop into, not only when things are tough, but also when we have precious joys to share? By being gentle with and taking care of ourselves, we will discover that our first and foremost contribution to the planet is just that: our selves. You are not alone. You can, right now, find a way to leave your own particular legacy behind whether you can be there or not. Do it.