I think during my lifetime … i’ve been annoyed one million times.
I was annoyed of lots of people and the circumstances created by them … and many times … my reactions were really ugly.
I’ve blamed everyone.
On and on and on.
And even if i knew that it was all a reflection … when it came about my own life … i was blind and could not accept such a theory.
I was living 2 parallel lives … one where i was a theoretician that is analyzing and defining life …. and one living on the scene of my real life … where i was ignoring all i was doing in the first life.
It was a total nonsense to have 2 lives in the same time … instead of mixing them .. and trying to create a hybrid version for my existence.
There were moments when i was laughing of myself … of how silly i was … but …
Well … i was blind.
I count not connect the 2 realities.
I could not be … just one.
It was like i had … 2 souls inside of me … which was probably the most ridiculous idea i could come with.
But …. time was passing … and i was starting to understand… what was wrong.
I had indeed … 2 souls.
One was the self … the real one, the one connected with the Universe … and the other one was …. my ego … my fake self … which looked all the time … so damn real.
I continued my life … balancing.
On and on …. and on.
In fact i was not applying my spiritual knowledge to my own life … and i kept being annoyed.
No matter how good the curent reality was … i always found a reason … not to be satisfied … or even continue being unhappy.
It was like i was ignoring … even perfect case scenarios.
Well … in both of my parallel lives … i was analyzing a lot …. all around myself … but as a thinker i was looking at everything with detachment … and on the scene of reality … i was treating everything … as real.
There was no … detachment.
I had to mix my 2 personalities … and become just one.
It was ok that i was analyzing everything and everyone … but i had to stop judging and most important to ignore … or at least to pretend i don’t see the dark side of all was going on.
I had to stop being annoyed.
I had this freedom of exploring souls … but i had to learn to practice … the acceptance.
Being annoyed … was so, so stupid of me … cause i was annoyed of … my own reflection.
… of what i disliked on myself.
Exploring deeply the world and all the souls i was seeing on the scene of reality … was ok.
But … the wisest thing i could do … was to let my 2 parallel lives to interfere.
Apply the spiritual principles into the real life.
Forget about the illusion … of myself.