What No One Tells You About Living With Large Breasts: They will smother you in your sleep, roll into your armpits during sex, and launch your shirt buttons across the room.
Life can be hard when you're big-breasted. They are heavy. They are sore. They pop the buttons off your shirts. They push your bra straps up to your shoulders. They wobble and they jiggle and they get in your way.
I have a big bust, and I know what it feels like to give them my full attention 24/7. This is me sharing everything I wish someone had told me when I was first blessed with size DD breasts.
Big breasts are much more than just accessories. They command attention and ignite desire in a way that no other body part does.
If you have a larger cup size, it will affect your life in myriad ways and you will be completely unaware of why things are so difficult sometimes.
Being blessed with large breasts comes with its own unique set of challenges. Everyone knows that clothes are designed to fit your bust, but if you're large-chested, you probably know first-hand that most clothes look awful on you.
That does not mean you look awful in your clothes. The fault here is clearly on the design of the clothing and not your beautiful and unique curves.
The single hardest part about having large breasts is not being able to find clothes that fit well. Whether it's shirts constantly riding up, tops that gap between your boobs and waist, or your voluminous flesh bulging out of the top of your blouses in an unnatural way, there's always something wrong.
Bigger bras are overpriced and uncomfortable, and they are typically too tight, too loose, or just plain awkward looking.
You may find that four hands are better than two when fastening or unfastening the clasp at the back of your brassiere. At times you may need to ask your partner for help putting on your bra.
Sports bras are their own special brand of torture.
Your sports bra will be that little bit tighter than it should be, but at least it probably clasps in the front. Forget sports bras that you pull on over your head. They will just tangle helplessly in your armpits or the curve of your neck and shoulder.
As many large-breasted women can tell you, it's hard enough to live your life with breasts that are too big. But what about those times when your breasts are so big they actually become a hindrance?
Some women find themselves in an all-too-common scenario of trying to live their lives around the giant boulders on their chests and decide to have breast reduction surgery. I had a coworker who made this decision with gusto. She tried to convince me to do the same, to no avail.
As for me, I'll keep the breasts I've got, thank you. They may smother me in my sleep, roll into my armpits during sex, and launch my shirt buttons across the room, but they're all mine.
In Breast In Show: Essays on Breasts and Other Body Parts, we'll talk about body positivity, breasts, thighs, wanted and unwanted hair, and what it's like to live in a body that doesn't always comply with beauty standards, whether internal or societal. Join me. Let's talk about it.